Learning to Speak, Learning to Lead

Posted on 25 September 2012 by jessilfp

I’m not sure if I’ve mentioned it on here before or not, but around the time I started my first ComedySportz class, I also joined Toastmasters.  For anyone not familiar with Toastmasters (TMI), it’s an international organization to help people with their public speaking. Whether you want to improve your skills for a business presentation, a job interview, or just want to build some confidence, Toastmasters is a great, supportive, inexpensive way to do that.

The club I belong to, Fort Harrison Toastmasters, is having an open house on Tuesday, October 2nd from noon to 1pm at the Benjamin Harrison YMCA (5736 Lee Road, Indianapolis).  I’d love to see you there!!!

More on my Toastmasters experience to come!

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Assistive Tech

Posted on 13 September 2012 by jessilfp

One of the occupations that I had looked at for awhile was Assistive Technology. My sister is an occupational therapist, and originally my plan was to write games that could easily be controlled by someone’s wheelchair. That hasn’t happened (yet?), but I’m still interested in how technology and other devices are being used to help people succeed in life.

Here is a great example video of how these devices can make a huge difference in someone’s life:

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Memory Tricks

Posted on 1 September 2012 by jessilfp

I’m awful at remembering people’s names, so I try and use all the tricks I can. At one table tennis tournament, for example, I was playing against Mike. He was wearing some pants that had a long stripe going up the side, which reminded me of a microphone stand. Mike singing into his mike-rophone. The next time I saw him, he didn’t have the stripe pants on, yet I still knew his name was Mike. Why? He’s not a singer! He probably never uses a microphone! But in my mind, I could still see the stripe on his pants.

Yesterday, my daughter had a similar problem – she had to remember the names of the six countries of Central America for a test. She was having a heck of a time remembering them, so with ten minutes left before the bus would arrive, we began telling a story. I would ask her questions about what she thought of when she heard the name of each country. She gave her answer (some of which received very quizzical looks from me), and then we’d incorporate them into the story. It ended up being something like this:

You are in your shower in (Costa Rica)! All of a sudden out of the walls, comes this great big (iguana! Guatemala!). The iguana makes his way out of the house and sees this great big (mountain! Honduras!). He climbs the mountain and at the top, he finds (shaving cream! Nicaragua!) All of a sudden, the shaving cream starts to slide off the mountain, so you catch it with (a piece of bread! Panama!). All of a sudden, someone comes running yelling, “No, don’t eat that!” (Jesus! El Salvador!)

Jasmine aced this part of the test. Storytelling and visualization is one of many memory tools that I try to use when I need help myself. More examples can be found in this video:

I’m always interested in hearing tips that other people use to remember things! Let me know your tips in the comments below.

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Reinventing Marching Band

Posted on 22 July 2012 by jessilfp

If you know me at all, you know that I loved marching band in high school. I was the biggest band geek ever! Emotionally, that band geek is still there, even though I no longer march, and no longer play. Watching my kids at their contests is bittersweet. While I am super excited for them, and proud of them, and love watching them, I definitely wish I was out there doing it myself. I realize that I can never be in marching band again, but now that I’m looking for a new job, it’s time to really dig into why I loved about it. To incorporate those into my search.


Intense. The intensity that a member of marching band felt definitely depended on that person. Some people were there just to have fun, to socialize. For me, I liked the hyper-focusing that it allowed. We started in May with music. During the summer, we remembered and refined our marching skill, and began learning some of the drill. At band camp, we started really putting the show together. We practiced everyday after school. We played at the home football game halftime shows. We competed at invitationals and competitions. From May through October, I lived, breathed, slept marching band (and yes, I still dream about it sometimes…. see? Biggest band geek ever!).

Cyclical. After that last competition, it was over. From November through May, there was very little talk about marching band. As a group, we moved to focusing on concert band and jazz band and pep band. While I was a part of all those, the intensity wasn’t there. For me, this was a time to sit back and relax. But you can believe that when it was time for the next marching band season, I was ready to go!

Improvement. All marching bands aim for perfection. As all areas of life, perfection can never be attained, but that was the goal. As individuals, there was a lot we could do to improve our personal contribution to the band: practice the music at home (even after playing for three hours during school and after-school practice), attend sectionals to practice as a group or to improve your marching skill, etc. As a group, our directors looked at the overall picture and tried to get in the judges’ heads to determine how to make the show better. Music was changed, drill was adjusted, dance was added. We practiced the same exact drill over, and over, and over, and over, and….. We practiced until it was the best we could do. It was all about improvement.

Friendship. We worked hard at marching band, but we played hard too. During every break, you could see small groups of friends throughout the field. I was not exactly well liked, especially by my fellow saxes, so it took me awhile to figure out where I belonged. People felt I was “teacher’s pet,” a “brown-noser.” Perhaps that’s true. But for me, it wasn’t about the teacher or about getting anyone to like me. It was about the band, about being involved in any way I could. Simply being in the band room was better than not. I’m not sure what exactly it was that brought my group together. Perhaps we were all outcasts, struggling to find our way. Perhaps our personalities just melded together. Whatever it was, we became inseparable and had great fun together.

Performance. I almost forgot to add this one! I love the anticipation of the performance, whether it’s for a football game, or a contest, or an eliminating competition. I love the soaking up the audience’s energy!

I’ve discovered that these four five traits – Intense, Cyclical, Improvement, and Friendship (and Performance) – are all incredibly important to me. Therefore, I want a way to incorporate them into my next job. I want a job where I choose a great group of friends out of a much larger group of people; where we practice the same thing over and over, striving for perfection, working toward an end goal that has an exact end date; where once that end date is over, there is time to relax and rejuvenate; where there is a variety of intensity about the goal – where some people just want to have fun, and others really want to win, so that I can choose exactly where I stand in that continuum. And I want to soak up the positive energy of those around me.

Other than marching band, the only other job I can think of that might have these same qualities is in the theater. What else can you think of? Please leave your comment below.

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A Gift from my Boss

Posted on 21 July 2012 by jessilfp

My boss gave me a gift yesterday. There are major changes taking place in the office that will be great for the business in the long run. In the short run, these changes mean a huge loss of commissions and huge temporary cost increases. It seems she can no longer afford me. She asked me to start looking for a new job. She said that I take off work to go to interviews whenever it’s needed, and she’ll give me an exemplary recommendation to anyone who asks.

This is a great opportunity, to basically be laid off but still earning a paycheck (at least until August 30th). As long as I make good use of it. I have the opportunity to choose what industry I want to work in, what company I want to work for, what I want to do. My boss says I should find something I really love, not something that’s “just a job.” She says I’m good, but that she knows the financial industry is not where my heart is. The question is, where exactly is my heart?

I’m struggling to come up with that answer, and I’m hoping that over the next few days, you can help me sort through it all.

I know that I’m not going to find a career that I stay in for the rest of my life. That’s rare anymore even for the “experts,” and I’m no expert. I’m good at a lot of things, but nothing ever makes me feel like I’d love to do it forever. I used to think that’s what I was supposed to do – to figure out what I wanted to do forever. I’m coming to grips with the fact that nothing will ever make me feel that way. I’m what you’d call a “scanner”, coined by Barbara Sher, author of Refuse to Choose, what Emilie Wapnick of Puttylike calls a “multipotentialite.”

Instead of finding a career for the rest of my life, I’d like to find a way to combine my current interests, one that can change and adapt as those interests change. I’d like to have an unconventional job, to create a lifestyle that works for me, without causing great havoc to my family. Like Chris Guillebeau who took his love for travel (his goal is to travel to all the countries in the world – and he’s almost there!) and combined it with his love for writing and became a best-selling author. When he realized he also liked helping others live their own unconventional lives, he adjusted his “career”. His books began to take on different topics, and he created the World Domination Summit (an annual conference in Oregon) in order to be around like-minded people.

In an effort to figure out where to start, where my own unconventional life begins, I’m going to post more about myself in the coming days. Examples of things I have really liked in the past, some to the point of obsession. I’ll post examples of some of the ways I “tick,” and even what really brings me down. I would love your help. Please comment on these posts with your advice as to how I could use those likes and dislikes to live a life I love.

For starters, you can tell me about any conventional jobs you know of that might combine multiple interests, or people you know or have read about that have done this successfully. I’ve already mentioned using the love of writing (as a book author, or a blogger, or a journalist) to write about things of interest. I can also imagine a photographer being able to do that (combining a love for taking pictures with a love for airplanes, or fashion, or architecture, or…. anything else!) What else? What are some other jobs that allow you to take on multiple interests at once?

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Music, Unconventionally

Posted on 28 June 2012 by jessilfp

I’ve been reading a lot being unconventional lately. I love the work of Chris Guillebeau, who has taught lots of people how to travel as a way of life. And of Jonathan Fields, who helps people get of uncertainty in order to get done what they want to get done. Ramit Sethi, who is simply unconventional himself – using a brash method of communication to speak about everything from money to relationships to dream jobs, seemingly trying hard to offend those not in his “target” audience!

One day, as we were in the car on our way home, we had an opportunity to discuss unconventional musicians when Bobby McFerrin’s “Don’t Worry, Be Happy” came on the radio. My husband asked the kids how many people they thought were involved in the creation of the song. Our children, especially Bobby, had a very hard time believing it was one. Just one. “But there’s someone singing in the background.” So then of course we had a discussion about how it was done back then, having to rewind the tape and re-tape with it playing in the background, etc. (at least, that’s our understanding of how it was done. Could be all wrong. Fake it till you make it, right?!) “But there are people playing music in the background. So we talked about how many instruments are in the song (“One. His voice”).

Bobby McFerrin is a great example of someone being unconventional. People back then thought he was a little crazy, creating a song all by himself. Perhaps he was a little crazy. Or perhaps he was just letting his crazy out, whereas all the rest of us are too afraid and keep our crazy sheltered!

Listening to the song reminded me of a Tedx talk I had recently watched – Sir Loops a Lot. Which is actually the reason behind this post – I promised Bobby that I’d find it and let him watch.  Here it is!

 

I was trying to think of some other Unconventional Musicians. I know there are tons, but I’m coming up blank. Who would you suggest and why? (Kid-friendly only, please!)

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Milestones at Toastmasters

Posted on 23 March 2012 by jessilfp

I went to my first Toastmasters meeting this week. It’s part of my journey to be less shy as well as to become a better public speaker. The word of the week was “Milestone.”  There are two definitions of milestone, according to Gary and Dictionary.com. First, it’s a stone functioning as a milepost. Mike (a surveyor, so we’ll tend to believe him) says that these were originally made with wood. Since wood doesn’t hold up so well, these have been replaced with stone (when any evidence can be found in the first place).  The second definition is what intrigues me:  “A significant event or stage in the life, progress, development, or the like of a person, nation, etc.”  That’s what sent my mind running a million miles an hour.

It caused me to think back on the milestones in my own life. When I look back, what can I point to that has really made an impact in my personal and professional life? Certainly there’s getting married and having kids.  Deciding to join marching band.  Prom night (it was my first “date” with my husband). Calling my parents from Deciding to go to school. Meeting my best friend when I was six. There are so many things in life that have been important in who I’ve become.

And what about the milestones of my future? While I can’t look forward and say, “This will *definitely* be a milestone in my life,” I can look forward and say, “This is what I’m shooting for…. if I hit this, I know I’m on the right track for where I want to be going.”  If I don’t hit those milestone, it means one of three things. One, the course that I was on has changed – that those milestones are no longer important and I need to discover new ones; two, what I was hoping would occur has in fact taken place, but it wasn’t as important to me as I thought it would be; or three, I’ve been afraid.

Here are a few milestones that I’d love to hit:

  • Create android / iphone apps that help people make changes in their lives to be more satisfied with it
  • Throw an in-person Idea Party, and then one online, helping many people support each other in the journey to their dreams
  • Help at least one corrections officer reach an “unattainable” achievement
  • Speak at an American Jail Association conference
  • Be a TED (or TEDx or TEDactive or…. ) speaker

Right now, it’s fear holding me back. Vulnerability. Knowing that once I’m out there, I can’t turn back. And “out there” scares me – I don’t really know what it means or what it looks like. It’s much easier to sit here in my little cocoon.  I recognize that I’ve already hit quite a few baby milestones in my journey toward attaining these larger ones. I still have a long way to go, though – and I’m not yet ready to adjust my course!

What about you?  What milestones have you reached?

What milestones have you set for your future, letting you know that you are on track?

What milestones have you set for yourself that, like the original wooden mileposts, didn’t hold up so well and caused you to adjust your course?

 

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Save My Daughter From Starvation!

Posted on 9 March 2012 by jessilfp

Earlier this year (or perhaps it was late last year?) my youngest daughter decided to become a vegetarian. I knew it was coming. She has this innate sensitivity toward animals – almost as if she can feel what they are feeling. She’s mentioned wanting to be a vegetarian in the past before, but then at dinner time preferred any meat item we were having over anything non-meat (like, say, vegetables!)  This time, it seems to have stuck. She didn’t say, “I think I’m going to be vegetarian.” She said, “Mom, I’m a vegetarian now, please don’t make me eat meat.”  And we haven’t. We’ve tried to support her completely. And it’s making me crazy.

I don’t mind her being a vegetarian – I love that she is sticking to her guns. But I am not a cook. I don’t particularly like to cook, but mostly, I don’t like to decide what to have for dinner.  Since the rest of the family is still “meat-a-tarian,” I’ve mostly been making meat meals and adjusting for her (making a meat spaghetti and a tofu spaghetti, making tacos with some tempeh, etc.)   Our meals have never been particularly healthy, and at times it seems like that’s getting worse instead of better. I’m using all my brain power to figure out how to adjust a main meal for her, and then forget about making vegetables to with it!

So I thought to myself, “It would be better if we take a vegetarian meal that we can adjust to contain meat.”  For example, we’ve had penne and beans, and then added chicken for the rest of us.  But I need more ideas! A lot of the vegetarian recipes I’ve seen simply don’t sound very appetizing. I figure it would be easier if I knew the recipe was actually good, and for this, I need your help!

Please, what is your favorite recipe that would be good either as vegetarian or with meat? Help save my daughter from starvation!

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I Do Nothing

Posted on 8 March 2012 by jessilfp

I took the day off work today because I wasn’t feeling so great. I got bonked in the head yesterday (long story) and got quite the headache from it. I’m feeling much better now, though still a bit fuzzy (thanks for asking!) I worked part of the day from home, but it’s really hard to do the remote desktop thing – computer’s really slow, can’t use the same keyboard shortcuts, it’s just frustrating. I should be working on something that’s really important to *me*! I have so much I want to do, yet I sit here watching some crappy movie on tv.

There are plenty of things I could be doing. I could work around the house, where there’s *always* work to be done!;  I could do more office work from home – there’s plenty of that to do also! But really, what I should be doing – what I *want* to be doing – is working toward my dreams. My dream of helping Corrections Officers not feel stuck in their jobs – of not *being* stuck in their jobs! My dream of bringing in enough money “on the side” so that Travis and I can both quit our jobs and travel the world.  Or even something much less daunting, like planning a family vacation.

Yet here I sit on the couch, doing nothing worthwhile. Why the procrastination? Fear, I suppose. Fear of failure – of never being who I want to be. Fear of success – of my life becoming something I don’t recognize. Fear that my dream will come true and in the process, I’ll forget to think about those I love – that I’ll get so caught up in the whirlwind of my dreams, and of loving what I’m doing, that I won’t even think to spend with them, to truly be with them.

And so, out of fear, I do nothing.

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Small Change Specialist

Posted on 7 March 2012 by jessilfp

My new job title is “Small Change Specialist.” Given that I work in the financial services industry, you might assume this has something to do with dollars and cents – that little bit left over at the end of each day. Nope. My job title, instead, is about process improvement. It’s about the small changes that I’ve made at work to make big differences in the efficiency of our office.  It’s about the small changes I’ve made to our internal auditing process that has ensured our records more complete and accurate. It’s about the small changes I’ve made that have made my co-workers’ jobs easier for them to perform. It’s about the small changes I’ve made to help our clients think about *why* they are investing with us (because saving money is never about money!)  But mostly, my new job title is about making this one small change for myself, to help myself become more engaged in my work.

When I used to say “I’m a web developer” you could see the intrigue in people’s faces. “What types of projects do you work on?” “What languages do you work in?” “Do you work only on websites?”  But when I said I was “Administrative Assistant for a financial planner”? “Oh.”  No discussion necessary. I could feel my energy drain, just from telling someone what I do and where I work. That’s not the way I want to feel about my work.

So I took on the hassle to make this small change a reality – to officially become a “Small Change Specialist” (which required approval from my boss and from our broker/dealer). Has my job description changed? No. But then again, my job description never really could convey all the small improvements that have been made in our office as a result of me simply being observant and changing the way I do things or making suggestions to others.

Will this make any difference about how proud I am of my work? Only time will tell.

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